Friday, July 1, 2011

What Are You Hiding??

A few weeks ago, I caught my little brother looking at pornography.

Okay, so it was actually an advertisement for some kind of exercise machine... But still. And he's only six years old!!! And already, in spite of our efforts at protecting his eyes... pictures that come in the mail of random ladies are stealing from him. From his future wife. Beginning to defile his mind. Awakening and feeding an appetite that cannot be fulfilled purely for a long, long time. How can I explain to him that he is not to look at pictures like that, while at the same time helping him to see that it is not a bad desire, just an untimely one-- and that female beauty is not a bad thing??

It makes me angry.

It's not just those exercise ladies, either. It is people in the grocery store. It is sisters in Christ.

Causing my little brothers to stumble, to struggle with lust. Taking away the sacredness and specialness of immodesty, and turning it into something to be avoided and shunned.

Yes, you heard me right. Immodesty is special and sacred. [Or at least it's supposed to be. Not that you would be able to figure that out by looking around...] So much so, that it is only meant for ONE relationship: marriage.

A long time ago, we were at a friend's house, and we were cutting out fabric for skirts... of course we wanted them long (as in, nearly to the ankle), and she was kind of... almost exasperated with that, asking what we were hiding-- as if we had some kind of deformity to hide or as if we were embarrassed about our bodies and wished to cover them up.

I mulled over that for a long time: I couldn't exactly explain it to her then (mostly because I couldn't quite explain it to myself), but I knew there was something wrong with the way she worded that.  

Am I "hiding" something? I don't think so. I'm healthy. If I wanted to flaunt, I could.

No... not hiding. Saving, guarding, setting apart. It's actually quite romantic, if you think about it--to save yourself completely for one special and holy relationship.

How can something be special if everyone else in the world has seen it? Where is the mystery, the feminine mystique in that?

God made females beautiful. God made males to be attracted (an understatement, methinks) to that beauty. This is good.

What is not good is when that beauty is used in the wrong way: to fulfill lust. Don't go pointing fingers at the guys. Yes, that is a huge problem. But I mean the lust of us girls. The lust to be... well, lusted after, though we wouldn't normally think of it that way. The lust to be noticed, by guys and girls. The lust of power--the female body has quite a lot of power over males. The lust of wanting to be like/in the world.

But we have a choice. We do not have to give into the culture, to our flesh. By the grace of God, we can fight back, with our clothes and our actions and our attitudes. 

Modesty is a battle: it is a fight against our sinful nature and against the culture of this world.

Modesty is a joy: it is exciting to be representing Christ well in your dress. It is exciting to know that your brothers around you are blessed by how you dress and act. It is exciting to think about the blessing it will be in marriage.

Modesty is a blessing: a way of helping our brothers in Christ in their battles, and a way of showing the world that we are set apart.

Modesty is a challenge: it says we must be won. We cannot be had cheaply.

Modesty is a gift: a way of showing our future husbands that we are waiting for them and saving ourselves for them. Just think of how special it would be if you were able to say that he was the first to have ever enjoyed the secrets of your beauty.

Please, please think about what you wear. Remember my little brother.

I don't know about you, but I want to be won, not "had" by every guy who happens to see me. I don't want to steal from anyone else's wife. I want to bless-- not hinder-- the guys around me. I want to protect and save the sacredness of my beauty for one man.


  1. Woa. That was seriously the most authoritative piece of writing I have ever seen come out of you. In a good way. In a good good good way. Loved it, actually. :D

  2. *smiles* Thank you! :D

    I have been giving myself talking-tos about my lack of really trying in my writing, especially on my blog here... so I put more effort into this one. :)

    Thanks for commenting!! :D

  3. Good post, Carissa. My mom mentioned just the other day that guys usually get all the slack when people talk about lust, but the fact is that most girls today actually lust after lust. They pour everything they have into making their bodies as noticeable as possible and then guys get portrayed as lust-hungry beasts by these very same women. Certainly such desires are never justified, but I think the fault of our societies sexual perversion is shared by both genders, as you mentioned.

    In Christ,

  4. Thank you, Dakota! *nods* Yes, exactly. That really frustrates me. :P The blame is definitely shared... and I, for one, place a lot of it on us females. (Partially because I am one, and I can directly do something about it if it's my fault. :)) Thanks for commenting!

    In Christ,

  5. Thank you, Carissa! It's always helpful to be reminded to look at things from our brothers' perspective. Springboarding off the latter part of the post, I'd also like to point out a few more disadvantages directly to the girl or woman who is immodest: It makes brother/sister relationships with friends difficult or impossible, and keeps the guys you'd really want to know at a good distance. It creates a mindset that makes an emotional rollercoaster easy to get on and hard to get off. And although I know visual lust is more a problem for men, I think women who think/dress/live immodestly may also quite easily have a problem with it because of their mindset. Unfortunately, these days, women have to deal with men's immodest dress too.

    In Christ,

    P.S. Congratulations to you and your family about Esther! She's absolutely beautiful. Reading your recent posts, I wanted to comment on all of them! so I thought I'd just better pick one and say what I had to say here. : )

  6. You're welcome, Edith! Yes, it is. :)

    *nods* Yes, definitely; thank you for adding those things! Yes... that is a problem. :P *shakes head* It's pretty bad... but we'll just keep doing our part, since that's what we can do. :)

    God bless,

    P.S. Thank you! :D She is... :) Haha, well I don't mind if you comment on all of them! :D But that works too. :) Thanks for commenting!

  7. Amen and amen! Can I just say how much I agree with you? Even as girls who think we dress modestly, this is such a good reminder. I especially love the part about being "won" instead of letting every guy "have" you... It's a disgusting idea when you really think about it. Modesty is the best way no matter how you look at it.

  8. Sure, go ahead. ;) Yes... we always have to be reminded too. *smiles* Yes... I love that too. It really is. :) I am so thankful for my parent's teaching about this!