Thursday, February 3, 2011

Preparing for Prince Charming: Part 1

There’s Something About February...
For some reason, in this particular month, odd things happen-- for example, many of us single gals “randomly” start sighing for the day when we will have a dashing husband-- who will, of course, [or so our dreams go] know just what we want (Probably daisies and raspberry dark chocolate for me...) for Valentine’s Day and who will make us feel very special and loved. Ah... if only he would come!

But Wait... Doesn’t a Prince Want a Princess?

However, in all our dreaming of the so-called (and rather elusive, it seems) "Prince Charming", we often forget what sort of woman this noble and godly man is searching for. Does he want a woman whose clothes are immodest and whose general appearance is untidy, or does he want a lady who dresses in such a way that says that she is a true princess-- a daughter of the King of kings-- with modesty and tastefulness? Does he want a woman who only really knows how to sit around admiring her nails, or one who is actively working hard-- serving God and her family and developing useful skills? Does he want a woman with a sullen and self-centered attitude-- or is he looking for one with a thankful, selfless spirit? Does he want a woman who is following after the world-- or one who is passionately seeking the Lord in every area? Does he want a clingy woman who is only a weight to drag him down-- or is he looking for a stable lady who will encourage and help him on to higher heights and deeper depths? 

Which Woman Will You Become?

Now, obviously you all know which option would be the “correct” one in each of those cases, so I'm not going to ask that particular question. However, I would like to ask you this: If you continue on in your current lifestyle, will you become that noble, wise, godly woman? Or will you be the foolish woman who tears down her husband and her family with her words, attitudes and actions? Right now, this very day--whether you are aware of it or not-- you are preparing for your future. You are practicing to be a kind mother if you respond lovingly and patiently when your little brother asks you to play with him for what feels like the fifteen thousandth time--- or you are practicing to be an unkind mother when you snap at him and rudely send him off so he'll quit bothering you. When you respond cheerfully and submissively to your father's request, you are practicing being a godly wife. But when you refuse to obey or even choose to talk back to him, you are practicing being the sort of wife who will ruin her marriage. Which path will you take? Will you just drift along, following whatever your fleshly whims suggest-- or will you take action and begin actively seeking to be a woman of grace, value and godliness?

Personally, I have decided that I am going to make the best possible use of the single... years? months? days? I have left-- and I would like to share some areas I am working on-- that way, if you also choose to actively prepare to be a godly woman, (and possibly wife) you will have some ideas of what to work on. 

Building on a Solid Foundation

First of all, since it is at once the most important, the hardest, and the most foundational aspect of life, I will talk about your walk with the Lord. Often we think that means that we just simply add prayer and Bible reading to our already crammed list of things to do. Obviously those are good things-- and of course I (along with many other people in your life, I hope) recommend you do them daily. But walking with God means so more than that: it means we invite Him to invade and transform every area of our life-- our thoughts, our attitudes, our words, our schedules, our activities, our friendships, our jokes, our writing, our reading, our music, our clothes, our jewelry, our movies... every single thing in our lives. The reason we read the Bible is to learn more about Him and His desires for our lives. The reason we pray is so we can get to know Him more intimately-- to seek His face, to know His will. Not just so that we can have yet another check mark on our to-do list.

Relying on God to be our Rock

See, in life, people let you down; they hurt you. You are probably saying, "Duh, I know that. I've been let down and hurt plenty of times... by so many people." I know, me too-- and it is hard. But the good news is that God is never changing, always faithful, always merciful, always loving, always there. He is the only firm foundation. Yes, at times He finds it good for us to go through trials-- Perhaps we have lessons to learn; or maybe we need chastising; or it may just be that we need to learn to rely on Him alone. But still, even through the rough times and the things we don't understand-- we can hold fast to God. 

We are tempted to think, oh, when I have a husband, he'll make me feel fulfilled and happy. He won't let me down. He'll always be kind to me. He will get me out of this mundane life I lead. He will always be there when I need him... and on and on. But that is just simply untrue. If you rely on a husband (or anyone else, for that matter) for those sorts of things, you'll only be left disillusioned and heartbroken. Jesus, on the other hand, is always faithful. He will never die, move away, betray you...  Who better to have for your rock, your foundation? And Who deserves your heart and trust more?? After all, He died. For you! For me! You see, we were hopeless; completely lost. There was no way any of us could measure up to His standard-- and without that, there was no way for us to be reconciled to Him. Someone needed to die. Someone needed to take the punishment for all of us. But we couldn't do it. None of us managed to be that perfect, spotless sacrifice. We failed. We needed God. But how could God die for us? A man must die for mankind. And so, in the greatest mystery and sacrifice of all time, God became man. He lived that perfect life; He died that horrendous death; He took the wrath of God for us--and then He rose again! Proving, once and for all, that He had conquered death, that He was The Savior. Wow. God didn't just say, "Oh, I love you guys so much." No. He died. His love is not a love of words-- He gave up His very life!

I pray that this will truly become our heart's cry:

My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory;The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. Psalm 62:5-7

What Can We Do Right Now to Develop a Closer Walk with God?

Take time to earnestly seek the Lord. Ask Him what He wants you to do in the next ten minutes-- not just in the vague and seemingly far-off future-- but right now. Often we talk about “God’s will for my future” as if it’s something to just speculate about, something that doesn’t affect our immediate lives, something that we can’t know for sure... yet. But, in truth, there are things that we know are God’s will for us; right now. 

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

For this is the will of God, that by doing good you may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men...” 1 Peter 2:15

Read His word; but don’t just skim and check it off your list. Read it slowly and look for ways to apply it. Study out what you’re reading.  

When you are tired and lonely-- go to Jesus. When you are so busy and stressed you can’t think-- go to Jesus. When you are confused and lost-- go to Jesus. Make Him your hiding place. 

Every activity you do can be an act of worship if you do it for Jesus-- for His glory, not your own. You can pray while you wash dishes, you can pray while you iron... you can demonstrate His creativity and love of beauty when you draw or sew or even organize... you can show His love to others by doing things you know will help them or by simply listening and praying for them... you can do your chores so excellently that He will be glorified... there are so many little ways to glorify, serve and worship God while going about your day to day life! It is the little things that really add up.

But... I Don’t Quite Get it. How Will This Affect my Marriage?

If it is in God’s plan for you to marry, think how blessed your husband will be to have a wife who is stable even in the midst of difficulties-- because this world is not her home, and her rock is the everlasting God! Think how blessed he will be to have a wife whose immediate response in every circumstance-- whether it be a sick child, a move, an argument or any other curve ball that comes your way-- is to cry out to Almighty God for help and guidance. How much less pressure he will be under to have you relying on God to fulfill your deepest longings instead of on him! Imagine what it will mean to him to have your goal be to help him to become the man God wants him to become and to further his ministry!

An Eternal Relationship

Another important thing to consider in developing a closer relationship with God is that this is not something to simply help you “get through” the single years: this is an eternity-long relationship. Even marriage, the most permanent relationship we have on earth, will not last as long. It is not some sort of ploy to snag a husband-- a strong, foundational relationship with God is absolutely vital. Without Him, we are nothing.

Coming Up...

Right now, seeing that this article is about to end, you might be panicking slightly. (Either that or you’re relieved that it’s finally ending... hehe.)  I thought she said she’d tell us “some ideas”! Not just one! Well, I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that I will tell you several other ideas I have. The bad news is you will have to wait till I post the next part. Until then, remember to seek the Lord with your whole heart, do everything for His glory, make Him your rock and obey Him-- especially in the little things.  

P.S. Also check out this related post by my friend Rebeka. 

Want to learn more? Continue reading with Part Two!


  1. Thank you for posting this, Carissa. As a guy to the girls out there, please take this to heart. Remember that if you begin to act this out, others will see it, and hopefully do the same.

    And who knows? Maybe one of those girls will be the one I marry. You never know. And I would be very grateful to you. ;)

    The way you posed that question was brilliant, by the way, Carissa. :)

  2. Beautiful post, Carissa. It was so... wonderful. It was so wonderful I couldn't even pick out my favorite quote! But, so as to not dissapoint you, I will try. Let's see here . . .

    "Personally, I have decided that I am going to make the best possible use of the single... years? months? days?"

    Gah! Wouldn't that be so cool if it was like... days away?!? I mean, it would sorta be. Because like, Baby is coming and then we wouldn't get to do The Plan. But still. That would be neato. (And, yes, I know that wasn't a serious one. I'll try to do better next time.)

    Ahem. Anyways, this was such a wonderful encouragement. So often I believe the lie that I am above falling prey to the pursuits of the world. But I am so wrong! I constantly need to lean in to the Lord to shelter me and find refuge in His grace, providence, and never-ending love. What a timely reminder. :-)

    I love you!

  3. This article looks very familiar... I wonder where I've seen it before? ;) Great job Carissa! I'm looking forward to publishing it Sunday.

  4. Hi Carissa,

    This is so good! You are learning things that I didn't figure out until years after I got married.

    "We are tempted to think, oh, when I have a husband, he'll make me feel fulfilled and happy. He won't let me down. He'll always be kind to me. He will get me out of this mundane life I lead. He will always be there when I need him... and on and on. But that is just simply untrue. If you rely on a husband (or anyone else, for that matter) for those sorts of things, you'll only be left disillusioned and heartbroken. Jesus, on the other hand, is always faithful. He will never die, move away, betray you... Who better to have for your rock, your foundation? "

    This is a truth that you really want to hold on to. Making Him your foundation will bless your life now and be the best preparation for your future.

    God Bless,
    Mrs. Mama Lauser

  5. Jay: You are welcome. :) Thanks for confirming what I said here! I sure hope the ripple thing happens... Oh, thank you. :)

    Rebeka: Wow. That was a lot of wonderfuls... Thank you! Haha... of all the quotes to pick! :D And I agree with all the stuff you said about it.

    I'm glad it encouraged you! It encouraged me too. haha. Love you too!

    Allison: Hmm... I wonder... :D Thank you! And thank you for helping edit it! It was neat to be on the receiving end of editing... I'm not on that end much!

    Mrs. Mama Lauser: I am very thankful for that fact... I figure that the more I can read and learn now, the less I'll have to say what you said. haha. :) But I am sure I will still say it plenty. :P

    Okay, I will do my best to hold on to it! :)