This being the final Thursday in December, and thus the last week in 2011 (already?!!), it is now time to let me know which of the blog posts over the past year were your favorites! :) I'm going to make another little sidebar link list of them...
Oh, and you can also tell me why you liked them... if you want to... * smiles invitingly *
So... comment away! :) And thank you for reading!
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Trapped
Just a note: this post is rather different from most of my posts. I feel a little weird saying this here... especially since I'm not completely "out" yet (you'll understand more when you read it). But God has been impressing on me the need for being real and not trying to keep up an illusion of... not perfection, but of... being "good", I guess-- and this is part of that. :)
Before I really started getting to know God, I was in this dreadful state of being caught between two worlds: sick of this earth and all its troubles, and not really wanting heaven, either.
This world seemed to have very little good in it... I had very few real friends, and most of the friends I did have were far away. The political and economic world is a mess; which bothered me greatly. (you may not realize it, but I am and pretty much always have been interested in politics.) I saw immorality and hurt and sin everywhere, including in me. I felt alone in my desire for something more than simply being a "nice girl."
I was on the verge of this thing they call "Adulthood", at eighteen... and yet I felt like neither a child nor an adult. On one hand I was more childish than others my age--and on the other, I was much more mature.
I was trapped. Trapped inside myself, trapped between two worlds: wanting neither. No one noticed, or if they did I never knew they did. I myself hardly realized my dilemma: I lived in it.
Thinking, always thinking. Wondering if anyone else struggled like I did. Wondering where I fit in this world. Wondering what my life would hold. Quietly. Holding it in.
Wanting to know God--but He seemed so far away. Wanting to do right, but failing again and again. Wanting to fit in. Wanting to be noticed. Wanting close friends.
No tears. Just quiet, restless, incessant thoughts.
A heart that pretended to be soft, but was hardened.
Slowly, slowly... He broke through my walls.
Friends, prayers, books...
His word.
Real, not imagined pain.
Bringing me to the end of me.
Breaking me to the point of tears.
Holding my hand.
His glory.
His love.
He brought me out... is bringing me out.
And now I have hope for here. I still see all of the horribleness of this world. I still see the wretchedness of my sin. But I see something more: I see God's hand, over it all. I see God working, in and through me... and in and through those around me.
And not only do I have hope and joy for here, on earth, I now long for the day when I will finally meet my Savior face to face... when I will be able to see Him, hear Him, feel Him. When I will no longer have the sin... when all the troubles of this world are gone.
Finally, I am beginning to be... in this world, and looking forward to the next.
No longer trapped.
Free, in Him.
P.S. I know I know... you were expecting a Christmas background. :D I couldn't find one I liked... and Christmas in Florida is pretty green anyway. So I figure this works. :D
Before I really started getting to know God, I was in this dreadful state of being caught between two worlds: sick of this earth and all its troubles, and not really wanting heaven, either.
This world seemed to have very little good in it... I had very few real friends, and most of the friends I did have were far away. The political and economic world is a mess; which bothered me greatly. (you may not realize it, but I am and pretty much always have been interested in politics.) I saw immorality and hurt and sin everywhere, including in me. I felt alone in my desire for something more than simply being a "nice girl."
I was on the verge of this thing they call "Adulthood", at eighteen... and yet I felt like neither a child nor an adult. On one hand I was more childish than others my age--and on the other, I was much more mature.
I was trapped. Trapped inside myself, trapped between two worlds: wanting neither. No one noticed, or if they did I never knew they did. I myself hardly realized my dilemma: I lived in it.
Thinking, always thinking. Wondering if anyone else struggled like I did. Wondering where I fit in this world. Wondering what my life would hold. Quietly. Holding it in.
Wanting to know God--but He seemed so far away. Wanting to do right, but failing again and again. Wanting to fit in. Wanting to be noticed. Wanting close friends.
No tears. Just quiet, restless, incessant thoughts.
A heart that pretended to be soft, but was hardened.
Slowly, slowly... He broke through my walls.
Friends, prayers, books...
His word.
Real, not imagined pain.
Bringing me to the end of me.
Breaking me to the point of tears.
Holding my hand.
His glory.
His love.
He brought me out... is bringing me out.
And now I have hope for here. I still see all of the horribleness of this world. I still see the wretchedness of my sin. But I see something more: I see God's hand, over it all. I see God working, in and through me... and in and through those around me.
And not only do I have hope and joy for here, on earth, I now long for the day when I will finally meet my Savior face to face... when I will be able to see Him, hear Him, feel Him. When I will no longer have the sin... when all the troubles of this world are gone.
Finally, I am beginning to be... in this world, and looking forward to the next.
No longer trapped.
Free, in Him.
P.S. I know I know... you were expecting a Christmas background. :D I couldn't find one I liked... and Christmas in Florida is pretty green anyway. So I figure this works. :D
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Why Do You Read This Blog?
I'm curious. I'm always curious, but this time I'm curious about something in particular. Something you can help with. And, as you may have deduced from the title, I am wondering why you read this blog.
Is it because you're my friend? Is it because you collect blogs? Is it because you like the content? Is it because you learn things? Or because you're entertained? Is it because you believe similarly? Is it because you believe the complete opposite and like studying the other side? Is it because you like poking fun at my posts? :D Is it some other reason I haven't thought of yet?
There, I think that was a pretty thorough interrogation...
Oh wait, I have more questions. Why don't you comment, if you don't? Do you like the weekly scheduled posts? Or did you like it better random?
I've been putting more effort into it over the past few months and had a result I don't particularly like... less comments. :'( Which, I guess, is okay... since I can still hope you read them and get something from them, and I benefit from writing them.
However... it is more fun if I get comments. So I guess I'm... asking you to comment more. Especially on this post, since if you don't comment it'll be quite useless... ;)
Yes, I'm one of those pathetic bloggers who beg for comments. :D I know it's hard to comment on blogs sometimes because you don't know what to say or don't have time or whatever, but I'm not terribly picky about what you say, so when you get a chance in your busy blog reading lives it would be lovely. :D
P.S. Oh! Suggestions of any kind (except like... about college or cutting hair or things like that... :D I guess I should specify blog related suggestions) are also very welcome!
Is it because you're my friend? Is it because you collect blogs? Is it because you like the content? Is it because you learn things? Or because you're entertained? Is it because you believe similarly? Is it because you believe the complete opposite and like studying the other side? Is it because you like poking fun at my posts? :D Is it some other reason I haven't thought of yet?
There, I think that was a pretty thorough interrogation...
Oh wait, I have more questions. Why don't you comment, if you don't? Do you like the weekly scheduled posts? Or did you like it better random?
I've been putting more effort into it over the past few months and had a result I don't particularly like... less comments. :'( Which, I guess, is okay... since I can still hope you read them and get something from them, and I benefit from writing them.
However... it is more fun if I get comments. So I guess I'm... asking you to comment more. Especially on this post, since if you don't comment it'll be quite useless... ;)
Yes, I'm one of those pathetic bloggers who beg for comments. :D I know it's hard to comment on blogs sometimes because you don't know what to say or don't have time or whatever, but I'm not terribly picky about what you say, so when you get a chance in your busy blog reading lives it would be lovely. :D
P.S. Oh! Suggestions of any kind (except like... about college or cutting hair or things like that... :D I guess I should specify blog related suggestions) are also very welcome!
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Counted Worthy
Recently I was attempting to do something nice for my father, and it was accidentally construed by a sibling of mine to seem like something quite different and not nice at all. I was quietly very frustrated and hurt… here I was trying to do something good, and I could tell it was being viewed as something wrong.
And then I realized something: This happened to Jesus all the time. And I was amazed and so thankful to Him, and grateful for a chance to understand even such a small bit of what He experienced. Seriously… He never did anything wrong (while I regularly do wrong), and over and over was accused (And even killed!) for things He did not do. o.0 (In my case, shortly thereafter, we got it all straightened out and no harm came of it.)
This is something I’ve been learning more and more, and it is so helpful… I think I started doing it when I read in the Hiding Place where they are standing in line, unclothed… and they realize that Jesus was humiliated in the same way. And Betsy says, “oh, and I never thought to thank Him!” (or something like, I don’t have the book with me. :( )
Somehow… it helps, knowing that He went through all these troublesome emotions and situations. And it helps when you look at your pain and realize how much worse His was… and that He did it for you, out of love. He didn’t have to experience that pain. He didn’t have to subject Himself to that torture and humiliation and false accusation. And yet… He did. For you. For me. For His father’s glory.
Sometimes you’re lonely, in the middle of a crowd… no one really understands you. You have a quiet ache that no one sees… no one cares about. Just think of Him: He had such a horrible weight on Him, knowing all that would come… and no one understood. No one could understand it. Even surrounded by so many followers, He was alone.
Perhaps you’ve loved someone and you love was not returned… just think how His heart breaks over the millions who totally reject His love.
And on and on it goes…
When you are suffering, remember to think about your Savior and what He went through for you.
Several good things are accomplished through this… one, your suffering will be put into perspective. :P Two, you will be so much more grateful to Him. Three, you will have an example to follow of how to deal with your hurt. Four, you will be distracted from your own little problem and your eyes will be on Him… which is always a good thing. :)
And then I realized something: This happened to Jesus all the time. And I was amazed and so thankful to Him, and grateful for a chance to understand even such a small bit of what He experienced. Seriously… He never did anything wrong (while I regularly do wrong), and over and over was accused (And even killed!) for things He did not do. o.0 (In my case, shortly thereafter, we got it all straightened out and no harm came of it.)
This is something I’ve been learning more and more, and it is so helpful… I think I started doing it when I read in the Hiding Place where they are standing in line, unclothed… and they realize that Jesus was humiliated in the same way. And Betsy says, “oh, and I never thought to thank Him!” (or something like, I don’t have the book with me. :( )
Somehow… it helps, knowing that He went through all these troublesome emotions and situations. And it helps when you look at your pain and realize how much worse His was… and that He did it for you, out of love. He didn’t have to experience that pain. He didn’t have to subject Himself to that torture and humiliation and false accusation. And yet… He did. For you. For me. For His father’s glory.
Sometimes you’re lonely, in the middle of a crowd… no one really understands you. You have a quiet ache that no one sees… no one cares about. Just think of Him: He had such a horrible weight on Him, knowing all that would come… and no one understood. No one could understand it. Even surrounded by so many followers, He was alone.
Perhaps you’ve loved someone and you love was not returned… just think how His heart breaks over the millions who totally reject His love.
And on and on it goes…
When you are suffering, remember to think about your Savior and what He went through for you.
Several good things are accomplished through this… one, your suffering will be put into perspective. :P Two, you will be so much more grateful to Him. Three, you will have an example to follow of how to deal with your hurt. Four, you will be distracted from your own little problem and your eyes will be on Him… which is always a good thing. :)
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Reckless Abandon
What do you think of when you hear that phrase? Probably something drastic, right? If you're a Christian, you might think of something like going off into the jungles of Africa... or vowing to live a life of self-sacrificing poverty... or choosing to be single forever... or something like that.
As I was washing dishes a while ago, and then again more recently, I was pondering this...
We are called to live with reckless abandon-- to Christ. We are to completely abandon our "selves": our desires, our dreams, our hurts, our thoughts: everything that is our "self"... completely.
That means... counting all of this world as nothing: that you may gain Christ. Actively choosing His will over yours. Leaving your life, your family, your loved ones, your future, your job, your stuff--everything--in His hands. Trusting Him to take care of the details... even if you don't like the outcome or can't see how it will "work out".
And that can take any number of forms... sometimes what self wants is to do something big and drastic and noticeable... and what God wants at that time is for you to be taking care of a little sibling. It doesn't always involve going off to the ends of the earth and getting yourself killed... Sometimes it means being still before your God. Sometimes it means speaking in front of a big group of people when you'd rather be anywhere else-- doing anything else. Sometimes it means giving up a hobby you love dearly. Sometimes it means getting rid of some clothes.
And sometimes it does mean giving up all you know and love and going wherever God calls. Sometimes it does mean literally giving up your life for Him.
It's willingness to do whatever He asks, mixed with utter trust that He knows best.
Because... He is worth it. So much more than worth it.
As I was washing dishes a while ago, and then again more recently, I was pondering this...
We are called to live with reckless abandon-- to Christ. We are to completely abandon our "selves": our desires, our dreams, our hurts, our thoughts: everything that is our "self"... completely.
That means... counting all of this world as nothing: that you may gain Christ. Actively choosing His will over yours. Leaving your life, your family, your loved ones, your future, your job, your stuff--everything--in His hands. Trusting Him to take care of the details... even if you don't like the outcome or can't see how it will "work out".
And that can take any number of forms... sometimes what self wants is to do something big and drastic and noticeable... and what God wants at that time is for you to be taking care of a little sibling. It doesn't always involve going off to the ends of the earth and getting yourself killed... Sometimes it means being still before your God. Sometimes it means speaking in front of a big group of people when you'd rather be anywhere else-- doing anything else. Sometimes it means giving up a hobby you love dearly. Sometimes it means getting rid of some clothes.
And sometimes it does mean giving up all you know and love and going wherever God calls. Sometimes it does mean literally giving up your life for Him.
It's willingness to do whatever He asks, mixed with utter trust that He knows best.
Because... He is worth it. So much more than worth it.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
April Fool's
Warning: For some of you, this post is Completely Random. It's perfectly fine if you'd rather not read it--though if you do chose to, it may amuse you. ;)
And no, I haven't lost my mind... I do know it's Thanksgiving tomorrow and not April Fool's day... See, on April first of this year, a bunch of my friends and people from two of the forums I help moderate (The Rebelution and Holy Worlds) absolutely flooded me with emails. Somewhere around 220, to be exact. And I have finally, finally finished answering them!! And in honor of that accomplishment, I've decided to post a sampling of the kind of emails I got with some of my replies.
And no, I haven't lost my mind... I do know it's Thanksgiving tomorrow and not April Fool's day... See, on April first of this year, a bunch of my friends and people from two of the forums I help moderate (The Rebelution and Holy Worlds) absolutely flooded me with emails. Somewhere around 220, to be exact. And I have finally, finally finished answering them!! And in honor of that accomplishment, I've decided to post a sampling of the kind of emails I got with some of my replies.
They actually did two waves, the first one including tons of smiley emoticons... here's one of the more interesting of those emails.
there are many kinds of smiles:
:P :D :T :V :Z :S :O :B :J :)
straight, crooked, curvy, sly, ones with tongues sticking out, ones that show 2 front teeth, and of course, normal ones...no matter which type you have...
SMILE TODAY!!!!!!! :)
Then, completely to my surprise, came the second wave. With the questions. And the letters: serious, sweet, silly. And the goofy stories. And the editing requests. And more questions.... Here are a few of my favorites.
Hey, Duchess Daisy, I have a question. What do you believe about total predestination?
Do you really want to know? Okay, I'll tell you. I believe that God is God, and whatever He believes, that's what I believe. From my earthly perspective, I don't think He believes in it. However, I am quite fallible, and hencely I don't argue about it. :D
Hi, Carissa. I was wondering what you thought. Do you think that gender is something that affects the soul?
This is a very interesting question!! I think it was my favorite one to ponder... I really have no idea. One thing I did fine interesting was that in Psalm 34:2 it says "My soul shall make her boast in the LORD: the humble shall hear thereof, and be glad." David refers to his soul with a feminine pronoun. o.0 I don't know if that means anything, but I thought it interesting. It is fun to imagine different kinds of souls, though... kind of like the dryads in Chronicles of Narnia. :D What do you think?
Oops! I was going to ask, what do you believe about dating and courtship, as well!
I believe... that each time God brings two people together, it is vastly different... and thus, no two courtships will be the same. I also believe that guys and girls should not mess around with each other's hearts (or bodies. :P) just for fun... if they are getting really close and spending tons of time together, it should be with the intention of marriage. And I believe that wisdom should be sought from parents, especially Christian parents, and other wise people in your life. (And tons more things, but that's all I'm putting here. :P)
Do you enjoying homeschooling? And why? What curriculum do you use?
I do enjoy homeschooling immensely! :D There are lots of reasons... probably my top ones would be:
1. I have been able to learn about things I'm interested in personally, instead of just whatever the school system decided for me.
2. I've been able to spend much more time with my family and learn practical skills here at home
3. I haven't had all the negative peer pressure
4. I have been able to be brought up with a solid Biblical worldview; which, while not impossible in public school, is definitely easier at home.
Those are the main things that come to mind right away... :)
We don't really use one particular curriculum... it's just a mix of everything. :D We do use Math-u-see, though, for math. And... various other things... it changes pretty often, too. :) We love to read, so that is a big part of our education. :)
Do you homeschool? And if you do, do you like it and why?
1. I have been able to learn about things I'm interested in personally, instead of just whatever the school system decided for me.
2. I've been able to spend much more time with my family and learn practical skills here at home
3. I haven't had all the negative peer pressure
4. I have been able to be brought up with a solid Biblical worldview; which, while not impossible in public school, is definitely easier at home.
Those are the main things that come to mind right away... :)
We don't really use one particular curriculum... it's just a mix of everything. :D We do use Math-u-see, though, for math. And... various other things... it changes pretty often, too. :) We love to read, so that is a big part of our education. :)
Do you homeschool? And if you do, do you like it and why?
Do you know of a good April fools day joke?
Well... it's kind of late, now, haha. But... I made an April fool's breakfast for my siblings... I put the oatmeal in their mugs and their tea in the bowls, among other fun things. :D My sister Cheryl also did one where you have a spool of thread hidden under your clothes (in a pocket or something) and you thread it up so it's coming out of the neck of your shirt... then when someone tries to take it off your shirt, it just keeps coming and coming. hehe. :)
"If you were stranded on a desert island, what one item you would most want to have with you?"
I do expect a reply.
Didn't you already ask me this once??? One item. That's so mean. I want a pen and a notebook. 
Ummmmm.... item. I don't suppose I am supposed to be practical, am I. Cause that would be boring and stuff. So... let's see.
Ummmmm.... item. I don't suppose I am supposed to be practical, am I. Cause that would be boring and stuff. So... let's see.
A...a... shovel! So I could make sand castles and holes and stuff!
Ooooor... a Bible. Cause it would keep me busy for like... the whole time. You can keep on reading it over and over and always learn stuff. Plus also it would help keep me sane and stuff. And I like learning about God.
Hmmm.... perhaps... oh! A boat!!! Yeah! Then I could get off the island! hehehe.
Maybe... peanut butter! It's yummy...
Oh, oh! I know! I'd bring... our harp! Then I could play pretty music! And then maybe someone would hear it and like it and take me off the island! Plus if they didn't I would still have fun...
Okay, is that enough? Are you satisfied?? You better be. huff.
And letters...
hey girl...
whats up? hope youre having like a really cool day lol...its like so gray and rainy here its like totally depressing...dude you should like come over...oh yeah i forgot that would sorta take like a long time for you to get here...so whats up, huh?...are you real busy?...me i'm just totally overwhelmed with like tons of stuff i mean its not even funny lol...yeah so just you know text me sometime so we can hang out and stuff OK? yeah well i need to go and stuff...so ill see you around sometime....
ttyl
Beks
lol, gurl, u r so funny. like totally, man. i had an awesom day it was like so cool, man. im sorry it was depresing and stuff over there tho.. thats sad. yeah itwould take 2 long i thnk.. mabye someday we can come again k i will text u sometime. oh but i forgot u dont have a cell yet. thats like, lame, man... hurry up and get 1 k i will ttyl
bye
C'rissie
Hey Carissa!
And the stories...
bye
C'rissie
Hey Carissa!
I just wanted to let you know that I was looking at your blog today, and though that it looked really really cool! :D Your post about the Casting Crowns song was awesome! Our God is so absolutely amazing!
How long have you been running your blog? What do you enjoy most about it?
Congratulations on your new sibling coming!! :D That's so exciting! When is your mom due?
May 'the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace'! (Numbers 6) I hope you have a wonderful day! :D
Love,
your sister in Christ
Hi!
I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner... I'm just finally getting around to answering the last of the prank emails. :)
I'm glad you liked my blog! :D He is indeed... very muchly so. :)
That particular blog... I think it's been about two years now. I like being able to have my writing read by others and getting comments... :D I also like picking backgrounds and so forth.
My little sister Esther was born on June 15th! :D :D :D My mom was due June 20th, to answer your question. Esther is super cute... (pictures here) and we love her dearly. It's hard to comprehend that not too long ago she was not here!
Thank you for that blessing. :)
Love in Christ,
Carissa
I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you sooner... I'm just finally getting around to answering the last of the prank emails. :)
I'm glad you liked my blog! :D He is indeed... very muchly so. :)
That particular blog... I think it's been about two years now. I like being able to have my writing read by others and getting comments... :D I also like picking backgrounds and so forth.
My little sister Esther was born on June 15th! :D :D :D My mom was due June 20th, to answer your question. Esther is super cute... (pictures here) and we love her dearly. It's hard to comprehend that not too long ago she was not here!
Thank you for that blessing. :)
Love in Christ,
Carissa
Dearest Carissa,
How are you today? I am doing great. I'm singing in a homeschool music festival which is great fun!! It started yesterday afternoon and it is all day today and tomorrow morning. Then tomorrow afternoon we will have a concert for our family and friends to come to. So yeah, when you read this email I will be either eating lunch or singing my heart out. Well, hopefully not all the way out.
Stay safe dear, it's a dangerous world out there. And do be careful when going through doorways. I mean a thousand things could happen. You could get dizzy and fall and smack your head on the door way. Or if you were too tall you would bang your head on the top of the doorframe. Or someone could slam the door on your fingers as you walk through...I could go on all day, but I'll spare you the gruesome details. Just...stay safe!!
Love you lots,
Ada
Dearest Sally,
Yes, I know. I'm answering this. Don't ask me why. Ahem.
I am doing splendidly! Church was awesome. :D God is amazing...
Oh goodness!! I never thought of that!!!! What if you accidentally singed your heart ALL THE WAY OUT??? That would be simply dreadful! And then you'd DIE!!!!!!! Ahem. I'm glad you haven't singed your heart out yet... try not to, okay? Thank you.
I'll try. Maybe I shouldn't sing anymore... It sounds really dangerous, the way you put it...
Ack!!!! Ada, don't scare me like that! My heart might beat too fast, and then it might QUIT, and then I'd DIE!!
Love you more,
Mother
Yes, I know. I'm answering this. Don't ask me why. Ahem.
I am doing splendidly! Church was awesome. :D God is amazing...
Oh goodness!! I never thought of that!!!! What if you accidentally singed your heart ALL THE WAY OUT??? That would be simply dreadful! And then you'd DIE!!!!!!! Ahem. I'm glad you haven't singed your heart out yet... try not to, okay? Thank you.
I'll try. Maybe I shouldn't sing anymore... It sounds really dangerous, the way you put it...
Ack!!!! Ada, don't scare me like that! My heart might beat too fast, and then it might QUIT, and then I'd DIE!!
Love you more,
Mother
Dearest Mademe Gwinevere,
My, it has been soooo long since I've writen to you, hasn't it? I feel like I'm writing to a stranger! Its been terrible rainy here lately. Well, I wanted to send you a first person account of something that happened to (guess)............Thats right....ME! :)
It all began the other day when I was (drum roll please)....playing with Hosea. (What's new, eh?) We were kicking the soccer ball around when down the road comes a buggy. Now, normally I wouldn't pay any attention to a buggy going down the road. ( It has something to do with nerotransmitters blocking signals from your brain in order to keep you from being constantly distracted with unnecessary details, or something like that. See, I DO pay attention in science!:P) Anyways, back to my story. What was so odd about this particular buggy was that the horse was......cantering. Thats right, down Spring Grove Road cantered a beautiful brown horse, pulling behind it a black buggy, much to the surprise and puzzlement of Althea R. Wimer. "Well," I thinks to myself, "What kind of person would let their horse run down this road like crazy, straight into an intersection no less? No one!! That horse must have escaped, and is now cantering freely down the road, with no one in the buggy!!" So I do what most people do when they don't think very well, I panicked. Leaving Hosea to stand wondering in the yard, I rush into the road, and start waving my arms in a big T, right in the path on the oncoming horse. (Please, Please, Please, don't tell anyone else about this, okay? We always been such good friends, right? You wouldn't want to ruin my reputation, would you?) Well, fortuanately the horse stopped, without crushing me in the process. But unfortuanately, there actually was someone in the buggy. This tall older Mennonite man steps out and in a thick Dutch accent asks me what in the world I was doing. (He didn't say it quite like that:D) More unfortuanately, Mama had been watching my thoughtless escapade and came out to see what I had been thinking. The answer? I wasn't thinking. Well, totally embarassed, I returned to the house, recieved a long long lecture from Mama, and was sent to my room to consider my actions.
Well, thats the story. Very humiliating. You won't tell anyone, right? Our secret, huh?
Love,
Lady Cordillia
(And yes, that story was made up. And yes, I... fell for it for a bit. Don't ask me how... :P)
P.S. Yes, many of the emails were in green... my favorite color.
(And yes, that story was made up. And yes, I... fell for it for a bit. Don't ask me how... :P)
P.S. Yes, many of the emails were in green... my favorite color.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Prayer: a Journey
I think it started back when I was eighteen, this journey He's taken me on.
I began reading "The Necessity of Prayer" by E.M. Bounds in January 2009... I caught glimpses of the power, the importance and the beauty of prayer. In spite of seeing those things, however, prayer had still not become a crucial part of my life. I would easily skip praying for days on end... of course, when I realized it had been a while, I felt bad and tried to get back to it again. Still, however, it was more of a nice idea than a reality in my life.
Not long afterwards, Pastor Mark preached on prayer and challenged us to spend a minimum of ten minutes in prayer daily. I decided to take up the challenge: didn't always make it to a full ten minutes every day, but I tried. And through this practice, I became more and more consistent.
In May of 2010, God started impressing on me strongly the need to pray for one person in particular--so I started doing that.
God was drawing me steadily nearer to Him... through many sermons, books, and so forth. The days when I did not pray became fewer and fewer and farther in between.
In January of 2011, I read the book Forgotten God, along with several other fantastic books: God Smuggler (Brother Andrew), Brucko, The Hiding Place, and more. I also refrained from internet use (for the most part) for the entire month--which meant more time to pray and think. Something happened that month. I am not sure how to describe it, or what it was. But something is different.
In June I read the book "Wrestling Prayer"... wow. I highly recommend it. In that book, it mentioned a book called "Intercessor". I was just going to read the other two books it mentioned, since I had those. However, a friend of mine mentioned Intercessor and said I must get it. Since I had the money in the bank, I ordered it that day-- and got it two days later which was... crazy.
I finished Intercessor in July and was moved by it in many ways. I "happened" to be reading it during a time when a group of people especially need powerful prayer... which worked out really well.
I have since read "Prevailing Prayer", "The Power of a Praying Woman" and very recently "Why Revival Tarries"... each one broadening my understanding of prayer and of God and increasing my delight and awe in it... and Him.
I am very excited to see where He takes me from here!
I used to hear people saying that prayer was like a conversation. I wondered if it were really true. I never experienced it like that... But now--I have.
I used to read about people praying for hours and wondered how on earth they could keep praying for THAT LONG. Now... I understand. I still don't do it, at least not regularly... but I'm beginning to see how that works.
Now... I don't know what it is to go a day without prayer. I don't think I could do it if I tried--God has made it so much a part of who I am that I do it without even realizing at times. Sometimes I will be in the middle of something--anything-- and I suddenly know I need to drop everything and go pray.
I've experienced His presence in awesome ways... seen Him do so many incredible things, big and little, through my (and others, I'm sure) prayers... grown to know and love Him like never before.
Why do I tell you all of this? To brag on how wonderful my prayer life is? No... not at all. There is so much to be desired in my prayers. There are still many days when my prayers are brief and lack passion. There are still days when it feels like a chore. There are still so many more "levels" of prayer that I have not yet attained.
Rather, I want to encourage you on in your own prayer life: just DO it. Make yourself take that time every single day to spend 5-15 minutes in concentrated prayer. After awhile, it is no longer a chore: it becomes a joy and a privilege.
There is simply nothing like knowing that your prayers affected eternity... that God used you and your words to bring about something amazing. It never ceases to amaze me how much God cares about the little things: and then, on the other end, how He effortlessly makes impossible things happen. It's so, so important to always remember that no prayer is too small: and no prayer is too big. (provided, of course, that you are praying according to God's will and character.) God is all powerful: thus, to God, there is no real difference between what we as humans view as "hard" and "easy". Don't belittle God by not asking for big, "hard" things!!
The fact that we can talk to God is... mind blowing. It's one of those things, I think, that is so beyond our comprehension that we barely even realize how very awesome it really is... And then... not only are we allowed into His presence in this way... but He listens to US! To us! Remember who we are? We are indescribably small and horridly wicked... and yet... He not only allows us to come before Him: He longs for us to do so!!!
Oh, there is so much to say on this topic... all I can really hope to do is get you excited enough to learn about and experience prayer for yourself.
In closing... a few quotes from some of the books I mentioned.
"O brother, pray; in spite of Satan, pray; spend hours in prayer; rather neglect friends than not pray; rather fast, and lose breakfast, dinner, tea, and supper--and sleep too--than not pray. And we must not talk about prayer, we must pray in right earnest. The Lord is near. He comes softly while the virgins slumber."-- Andrew Bonar
"...remember, God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we could ask or think. When we pray things that are on our King's heart, no matter how outlandishly audacious your prayers might seem to your own ears, they are nothing in light of God's willingness and ability to answer them." --Eric and Leslie Ludy, in Wrestling Prayer
"The potency of prayer hath subdued the strength of fire; it hath bridled the rage of lions, hushed the anarchy to rest, extinguished wars, appeased the elements, expelled demons, burst the chains of death, expanded the gates of heaven, assuaged diseases, repelled frauds, rescued cities from destruction, stayed the sun in its course, and arrested the progress of the thunderbolt. Prayer is an all-sufficient panoply, a treasure undiminished, a mine which is never exhausted, a sky unobscured by clouds, a heaven unruffled by the storm. It is the root, the fountain, the mother, of a thousand blessings." --Chrysostom
“Let our prayers, then, be for Christ’s sake. If we want our sons and daughters converted, let us pray that it be so for Christ’s sake. If that is the motive, our prayers will be answered. If God gave up Christ for the world, what will He not give up for us? If He gave up Christ to the murderes and blasphemers, and the rebels of the world lying in wickedness and sin, what would He not give to those who go to Him for Christ’s sake? Let our prayer be that God my advance His work, not for our glory--not for our sake--but for the sake of His beloved Son whom He hath sent.
So let us remember that when we pray we ought to expect an answer. Let us be looking for it.” --D.L. Moody, Prevailing Prayer
I began reading "The Necessity of Prayer" by E.M. Bounds in January 2009... I caught glimpses of the power, the importance and the beauty of prayer. In spite of seeing those things, however, prayer had still not become a crucial part of my life. I would easily skip praying for days on end... of course, when I realized it had been a while, I felt bad and tried to get back to it again. Still, however, it was more of a nice idea than a reality in my life.
Not long afterwards, Pastor Mark preached on prayer and challenged us to spend a minimum of ten minutes in prayer daily. I decided to take up the challenge: didn't always make it to a full ten minutes every day, but I tried. And through this practice, I became more and more consistent.
In May of 2010, God started impressing on me strongly the need to pray for one person in particular--so I started doing that.
God was drawing me steadily nearer to Him... through many sermons, books, and so forth. The days when I did not pray became fewer and fewer and farther in between.
In January of 2011, I read the book Forgotten God, along with several other fantastic books: God Smuggler (Brother Andrew), Brucko, The Hiding Place, and more. I also refrained from internet use (for the most part) for the entire month--which meant more time to pray and think. Something happened that month. I am not sure how to describe it, or what it was. But something is different.
In June I read the book "Wrestling Prayer"... wow. I highly recommend it. In that book, it mentioned a book called "Intercessor". I was just going to read the other two books it mentioned, since I had those. However, a friend of mine mentioned Intercessor and said I must get it. Since I had the money in the bank, I ordered it that day-- and got it two days later which was... crazy.
I finished Intercessor in July and was moved by it in many ways. I "happened" to be reading it during a time when a group of people especially need powerful prayer... which worked out really well.
I have since read "Prevailing Prayer", "The Power of a Praying Woman" and very recently "Why Revival Tarries"... each one broadening my understanding of prayer and of God and increasing my delight and awe in it... and Him.
I am very excited to see where He takes me from here!
I used to hear people saying that prayer was like a conversation. I wondered if it were really true. I never experienced it like that... But now--I have.
I used to read about people praying for hours and wondered how on earth they could keep praying for THAT LONG. Now... I understand. I still don't do it, at least not regularly... but I'm beginning to see how that works.
Now... I don't know what it is to go a day without prayer. I don't think I could do it if I tried--God has made it so much a part of who I am that I do it without even realizing at times. Sometimes I will be in the middle of something--anything-- and I suddenly know I need to drop everything and go pray.
I've experienced His presence in awesome ways... seen Him do so many incredible things, big and little, through my (and others, I'm sure) prayers... grown to know and love Him like never before.
Why do I tell you all of this? To brag on how wonderful my prayer life is? No... not at all. There is so much to be desired in my prayers. There are still many days when my prayers are brief and lack passion. There are still days when it feels like a chore. There are still so many more "levels" of prayer that I have not yet attained.
Rather, I want to encourage you on in your own prayer life: just DO it. Make yourself take that time every single day to spend 5-15 minutes in concentrated prayer. After awhile, it is no longer a chore: it becomes a joy and a privilege.
There is simply nothing like knowing that your prayers affected eternity... that God used you and your words to bring about something amazing. It never ceases to amaze me how much God cares about the little things: and then, on the other end, how He effortlessly makes impossible things happen. It's so, so important to always remember that no prayer is too small: and no prayer is too big. (provided, of course, that you are praying according to God's will and character.) God is all powerful: thus, to God, there is no real difference between what we as humans view as "hard" and "easy". Don't belittle God by not asking for big, "hard" things!!
The fact that we can talk to God is... mind blowing. It's one of those things, I think, that is so beyond our comprehension that we barely even realize how very awesome it really is... And then... not only are we allowed into His presence in this way... but He listens to US! To us! Remember who we are? We are indescribably small and horridly wicked... and yet... He not only allows us to come before Him: He longs for us to do so!!!
Oh, there is so much to say on this topic... all I can really hope to do is get you excited enough to learn about and experience prayer for yourself.
In closing... a few quotes from some of the books I mentioned.
"O brother, pray; in spite of Satan, pray; spend hours in prayer; rather neglect friends than not pray; rather fast, and lose breakfast, dinner, tea, and supper--and sleep too--than not pray. And we must not talk about prayer, we must pray in right earnest. The Lord is near. He comes softly while the virgins slumber."-- Andrew Bonar
"...remember, God is able to do exceedingly, abundantly above all that we could ask or think. When we pray things that are on our King's heart, no matter how outlandishly audacious your prayers might seem to your own ears, they are nothing in light of God's willingness and ability to answer them." --Eric and Leslie Ludy, in Wrestling Prayer
"The potency of prayer hath subdued the strength of fire; it hath bridled the rage of lions, hushed the anarchy to rest, extinguished wars, appeased the elements, expelled demons, burst the chains of death, expanded the gates of heaven, assuaged diseases, repelled frauds, rescued cities from destruction, stayed the sun in its course, and arrested the progress of the thunderbolt. Prayer is an all-sufficient panoply, a treasure undiminished, a mine which is never exhausted, a sky unobscured by clouds, a heaven unruffled by the storm. It is the root, the fountain, the mother, of a thousand blessings." --Chrysostom
“Let our prayers, then, be for Christ’s sake. If we want our sons and daughters converted, let us pray that it be so for Christ’s sake. If that is the motive, our prayers will be answered. If God gave up Christ for the world, what will He not give up for us? If He gave up Christ to the murderes and blasphemers, and the rebels of the world lying in wickedness and sin, what would He not give to those who go to Him for Christ’s sake? Let our prayer be that God my advance His work, not for our glory--not for our sake--but for the sake of His beloved Son whom He hath sent.
So let us remember that when we pray we ought to expect an answer. Let us be looking for it.” --D.L. Moody, Prevailing Prayer
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